When a marriage ends, most people picture lawyers, court dates and a judge making decisions about their children and their finances. For many Minnesota families, there's another path. With divorce mediation in Forest Lake, you and your spouse can work out the terms of your divorce together, with the help of a trained neutral mediator, so the decisions stay in your hands.
Quick answer: Divorce mediation is a confidential process where a neutral mediator helps both spouses agree on parenting time, support and property without a contested trial. For many couples, divorce mediation in Forest Lake is faster, less costly and less stressful than going to court. It isn't the right fit when there are safety concerns or one spouse won't take part.
This guide explains what mediation is, how the process works and how to tell whether it's a good fit for your situation.
What the research and Minnesota rules say
Parents who mediated custody were more than 3x as likely to still see their children weekly 12 years later than parents who went the court route.[1]
Share of family mediation cases that reached agreement across the studies in a major research review.[4]
Average cost per person for a divorce with lawyers that went to trial on two or more issues, vs $4,100 when uncontested.[5]
Minnesota makes all family law cases subject to ADR such as mediation, with exceptions when there is domestic abuse.[2]
What is divorce mediation?
Divorce mediation is a structured, confidential conversation between two spouses and a neutral third party called a mediator. The mediator doesn't take sides or make decisions. Their job is to keep the conversation productive, make sure both people are heard and help you reach agreements on the issues that need to be settled.
Those issues usually include:
- A parenting plan and parenting time schedule
- Child support and spousal maintenance
- Division of property, including the house, retirement accounts and debts
- How you'll communicate and make decisions as co-parents going forward
Once you reach agreement, the terms are written up so they can be reviewed and submitted to the court as part of your divorce.
Mediation and Minnesota family court
Minnesota court rules call for most family cases filed in district court to use an alternative dispute resolution (ADR) process, such as mediation.[2] The Minnesota Judicial Branch ADR page explains the options and keeps a roster of qualified neutrals. Many couples choose divorce mediation in Forest Lake before either person files, which can save time and lower the temperature from the beginning.
A mediator is not a lawyer for either spouse. Many people choose to have their own attorney review the agreement before it's finalized, and we encourage you to do so if you have questions about your legal rights.
How divorce mediation works in Minnesota: 5 steps
Every family's situation is a little different, but most mediations follow a similar path:
Tap each step to see what happens
A short conversation to answer your questions and talk about whether mediation is a good fit. This is also when any safety concerns are screened, because Minnesota law does not allow a court to require mediation when there is probable cause of abuse.[3]
Both spouses share the financial and family information needed to make informed decisions: income, accounts, debts, the house, retirement and your children's schedules and needs.
You meet with the mediator, together or in separate rooms if that is more comfortable, and work through each issue one at a time. The mediator keeps things balanced and focused.
The mediator drafts a summary of what you have agreed to, so nothing depends on memory.
You review the agreement, with your own attorney if you choose, before it is submitted to the court. It becomes enforceable once it is part of your court-approved decree.
The number of sessions depends on how many issues there are and how close you are to agreeing. Some couples finish in a few sessions. Others need more time, and that's okay.
Benefits of divorce mediation for Minnesota families
You stay in control. In court, a judge who has only known your family for a short time makes the final call. In mediation, the two people who know your family best make the decisions.
It's usually faster and less costly. Mediation often takes less time than a contested court case, and couples typically share the cost of one mediator instead of each paying for a lengthy legal battle.[5]
It's private. Mediation sessions are confidential. Court hearings and filings are generally part of the public record.
It's better for children. Kids do best when their parents can cooperate. Mediation helps you practice the communication you'll need as co-parents for years to come.[1]
Agreements tend to last. When both people help shape the outcome, they're more likely to follow through on it.
What might a divorce cost each spouse?
Pick the situation closest to yours to compare it with private mediation.
Lawyer figures are national averages per person from the Martindale-Nolo survey; private mediation typically runs $3,000 to $10,000 in total, split between spouses.[5] Your cost depends on how many sessions you need. Ask about current rates during your consultation.
Is mediation right for you?
Mediation works best when both spouses are willing to participate and share information honestly. You don't have to get along perfectly, and you don't have to agree on everything going in. Most couples who come to mediation disagree on at least a few things. That's exactly what the process is for.
Mediation may not be the right fit if there's a history of domestic violence, if one person feels unsafe or unable to speak freely, or if one spouse is hiding assets or unwilling to take part. Under Minnesota Statutes section 518.619, a court can't require or refer parties to mediation when there is probable cause of physical or sexual abuse.[3] If any of these concerns apply to you, we'll talk through other options during your consultation.
Is mediation a good fit for us?
Answer five quick questions. Your answers stay on this page and are never sent or saved.
Mediation looks like a strong fit
You have the main ingredients: safety, willingness and honest information. Most couples start with disagreements, and that is what mediation is for.
Mediation may work with the right setup
Options like separate-room sessions, help organizing finances, or having your own attorney review the agreement can make mediation workable. A consultation is the best place to talk it through.
Mediation may not be the best first step
When one spouse refuses, information is being hidden, or you want a judge to decide, a Minnesota family law attorney is a good next call. You can still ask us whether mediation could help with part of your case later.
Your safety comes first
Mediation is not required when there is domestic abuse, and you should not be pressured into it.[2] If you are in danger, call 911. For confidential support, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.
About our mediator
Divorce mediation in Forest Lake at Counseling & Mediation Solutions is provided by Debra Nelson, MA, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist and mediator. Her background in family therapy helps keep sessions calm, balanced and focused on what matters most to your family.
Divorce mediation in Minnesota: frequently asked questions
How long does divorce mediation take in Minnesota?
It depends on how many issues you need to resolve and how close you are to agreeing. Some couples finish in a few sessions over several weeks. Others take a few months. You set the pace together.
Is a mediated divorce agreement legally binding in Minnesota?
Your agreement becomes legally enforceable once it is included in your divorce decree and approved by the court. Until then, it is a written record of what you both agreed to. Many people have an attorney review it before signing.
Do we each need our own lawyer for divorce mediation?
No. You are not required to hire attorneys to mediate. The mediator stays neutral and can't give legal advice to either of you, so many people choose to have a lawyer review the final agreement.
Can we use mediation if we have already filed for divorce?
Yes. Divorce mediation in Forest Lake can start before or after a case is filed. Many couples mediate while their case is open to settle some or all of the issues without a trial.
What if we disagree on almost everything?
That's common, and it's what mediation is designed for. The mediator breaks big issues into smaller decisions and helps you work through them one at a time.
Who is divorce mediation a good fit for?
Couples in Forest Lake and the north metro who want to stay in control of their decisions, keep costs down and protect their children from a drawn-out court fight. It works best when both spouses can take part safely and share information honestly.
Related services for Minnesota families
Divorce often brings other decisions with it. Counseling & Mediation Solutions also offers:
- Co-Parenting and Parenting Plan Mediation for parents building or updating a parenting plan
- Family Court Evaluations and Assessments when the court needs a professional assessment
- Family Counseling to help children and parents adjust to the changes
Take the next step
If you're considering divorce mediation in Forest Lake or you've already started the process, you don't have to figure out the next step alone. Our team serves families in Forest Lake and throughout the north metro.
Learn more about our Divorce Mediation services or call us at (651) 307-4993 to schedule a free consultation.
Sources and research
- Emery, R. E., Laumann-Billings, L., Waldron, M. C., Sbarra, D. A., & Dillon, P. (2001). Child custody mediation and litigation: Custody, contact, and coparenting 12 years after initial dispute resolution. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 69(2), 323–332. PubMed
- Minnesota General Rules of Practice, Rule 310.01 (Family law ADR, including domestic abuse exceptions). Minnesota Revisor of Statutes
- Minnesota Statutes section 518.619 (Custody and parenting time mediation). Minnesota Revisor of Statutes
- Kelly, J. B. (2004). Family mediation research: Is there empirical support for the field? Conflict Resolution Quarterly, 22(1–2), 3–35. Resolution Systems Institute summary
- Nolo. How Much Will My Divorce Cost? (Martindale-Nolo Research survey of recently divorced readers; mediation range from ADR Times). Nolo
- Minnesota Judicial Branch. Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR). mncourts.gov
Last reviewed October 2026.
This article is for general information only and isn't legal advice. For advice about your specific situation, please consult a Minnesota family law attorney.